Diary of a Portland Musician
The day I almost wasn't cool
by Mr. Indie
It gets old so fast, hearing things like "the newest rock sensation" and "breathing life back into punk rock". All those transparent critical cliches that the music media have been recycling for as long as I can remember. This is partially why I tend to turn off the "this might be okay" receptors in my brain whenever I read about the same "hot new band" in at least two different media outlets. More often than not, those bands turn out to be just another lots-of-style-but-little-substance piece of ear candy coated in a chocolatey outer layer of HYPE.
Which leads me to my point... I seem to have fallen for it this time and I'm having a hell of a time reconcyling that fact with my inner indie-snob. Have I gotten old and less discerning? Have I grown too tired of fighting the hype? Most importantly, if I allow myself to enjoy what I feel I should be calling "indie-mainstream crap", how is that going to reflect on my own music? Am I going to start writing 3 minute 4/4 pop songs with standard 1-4-1-5 chord progressions with lyrics about telling girls they're really not as cool as they think they are? What's really scary is how many of those qualities my own music already posesses. Maybe that's the problem; maybe I'm too chicken-shit to admit that I'm just a popster at heart and that's why I'm so afraid of listening to these bands. Am I afraid of who I am as an artist-as a person??? Jesus, this is too much. I feel like throwing up.
Anyway, let's journey out of my psychosis for a minute and I'll give you some background. The band causing all of this self doubt is called, let's say, Warm Warm Warmth. I saw a picture of them in Rolling Stone once (come on, they gave me a free subscription) and thought to myself, "look at the way that guy's hands are on his hips, he must be a real asshole and there's no doubt in my mind that his music is terrible". Not to mention the fact that I'd seen their name on pitchforkmedia.com and countless other too-hip-for-their-own-good music publications within the past couple weeks. One of those bands. I hate those bands.
One day I was feeling adventurous, one might even say "open-minded", and I decided to see for myself how bad they really were. I can't say how I obtained the music, but I will say that I most certainly did NOT use copyright violating internet peer to peer software. So after downloading two of their songs, I listened. "Hmm, not a horrible intro. Oh god, that guy's voice is pretty annoying. Although I must admit that the all-over-the-place vocal medody he's doing is pretty cool." Song #2. "Ah, pretty nice little pop song, reminds me of the Eurythmics a bit. Never liked the Eurythmics, but this is okay. But they're so...hip! Nope, I can't-I mean I don't like this band." And that was that, or so I thought.
Over the next few days I found the WWW songs creeping into my head over and over again. They were softening me. It must be some corporate subliminal auditory trick that major labels (yes, even though I'm referring to WWW as "indie", their album was reissued by a major) use in every fucking one of their recordings. In no time I was sitting in front of my computer, saying to myself, "they sure are annoying, but I'll listen to those songs again-just for fun".
Then it hapenned: somehow I found myself at Everyday Music with their cd in my hand. I was filled with both excitement and self loathing. But something inside me spoke in a voice too loud to be ignored. It said, "Okay dumbass, you know you're not really here to buy Kitty (my girlfriend) that Bonnie Prince Billy cd. Now stop looking at the fucking cover trying to decide whether or not it fits into some imagined indie-rock code of ethics and buy the goddamned thing!" Jesus, that voice inside me is an asshole. But I listened to it anyway and bought the goddamned thing.
Does it matter that after a week of listening to the album obsessively I now find that it holds little appeal? Yes and no. But mostly yes. What I learned is that I don't want to be a music snob any more. At least not the kind who judges bands based purely on the amount of attention they recieve and what kind of people I envision their fans to be. I want to be the kind of music snob who gives that music an honest chance and then decides that it sucks and I'm way cooler than anyone who actually takes it seriously. Not only is it more fun to allow yourself some superficial music every now and then, it also makes the final decision that it sucks a lot more rewarding. At least now when I speak of WWW, I can say "yeah, I liked that band for about a week. Then I realized that they're basically an indie-rock version of N'Sync who couldn't create innovative or artful music with real integrity even if they were under the direct supervision of Ian MacKaye. So anyway, have you heard my band?".
-Mr. Indie
All names have been altered to protect the privacy of persons/entities involved. Any similarities to actual persons or events are probably pretty acurate, but you can't prove anything.
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