Diary of a Portland Musician

Meet the Press

by Mr. Indie

I remember the good ol' days, four months ago. Things were much simpler then. Sure I had my problems, but they were elementary compared to what I've had to deal with since. That was before The Plural Males released our first album, entitled "Ont Ape". Back then, all I had to do was focus on writing good songs. I was sure we were brilliant. I know, you're not supposed to feel like that, and if you do, you're not supposed to admit it. But it's the truth. We were an important band making important music, and the world was in for a treat!

In the weeks leading up to the release, I was actually surprised when people weren't blown away when I played them the album. Of course there were people who loved it, but I preferred, like any decent self-hating artist, to focus on the negative. But what did they know? Bunch of losers anyway. They just didn't get it.

Cut to the release date. I'd been waiting so long it seemed almost unreal (it had been over a year since we had signed with Porkless Pie in the US and a label called passionfruitrecords in Europe). During the previous couple weeks, I'd begun talking myself out of our state of grandeur. I guess it was a kind of defense mechanism to counter any negative reaction there might be. I'd become obsessed with what kind of press we'd get. What if Pitchforkmedia.com (the premier indier-than-thou online music mag) gave it a bad rating? Even worse, what if they gave it an average rating?! At least if someone hates you you know you're having some kind of profound affect on them.

But… the CD was out, and its destiny was no longer in my hands. There was an eerie calm that came with the release, like jumping into a pit of lions and hanging there for a split second, above all the snapping jaws, too overwhelmed with the serenity on either side of you to give much thought to your impending doom.

Then something extraordinary happened: nothing. When the album came out, I'd started scouring the web every day for any press, searching for "The Plural Males, Ont Ape, Porkless Pie Records". All I'd get was our web site and Porkless Pie's web site.

It took me about two weeks to find the first review (mind you, press copies are sent out before the album is released, so it's pretty common to have an album reviewed before its actually available to the public). It wasn't so good. He didn't rip us a new asshole or anything, but the gist was, "less prog, more pop!". The amazing thing was, I didn't really give a fuck! Okay, that's not entirely true. I cared, but it wasn't nearly as crushing as I'd feared. Maybe all that pre-emptive skin-thickening I'd undertaken had actually paid off.

Since then, Ont Ape has been reviewed quite a few times, some good, some bad. Most of the larger institutions, such as Pitchforkmedia.com, have altogether ignored it. My proverbial bubble had been burst, in a big way.

So where's the silver lining? Good question. Honestly, I do think that I gained something very valuable from all this, and that is self-awareness. Not the kind that makes you question everything you do (with which I'm all too familiar), but the kind that grabs you by the ankles and yanks you back down to earth. Now, I know that critical response is anything but an accurate measure of one's accomplishments, but it can serve the purpose of giving you some perspective. And if I'm not reminded that I haven't yet reached my full potential, I might never get there. And I'd much rather be inspired to keep doing better work than have the meaningless approval of some self-proclaimed musical authority who has to stand up on a soapbox and declare what art is quality and what isn't in order to make up for their insecurity about the fact that they lack the talent to create anything worthwhile themselves.

Okay, maybe I am still a little bitter.

-Mr. Indie

Most names have been altered to protect the privacy of persons/entities involved. Any similarities to actual persons or events are probably pretty accurate, but you can't prove anything.